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RASHARD MENDENHALL: OPEN MOUTH, INSERT SHOE STORE PDF Print E-mail

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Stay in your lane Hoss
In today's Internet Age everybody is enamored with professional athletes.  Apparently as soon as they sign that pro contract, particulary African American athletes, they immediately go from "nobodies" to a rapper (Ron Artest), runway model (Devin Thomas) http://clicky.me/30AK , or Wyatt Earp (Gilbert Arenas, Javarris Crittendon) http://clicky.me/7lz .  Just when you thought you'd had seen it all, now the NFL gives us Rashad Mendenhall, expert on International Affairs, the Middle East and all things before and after the Ottoman Empire  http://on.mash.to/jwviKj .  After your playing days are over, see how many runways you walk down or retweets you get on Twitter.  The Shock Exchange had the following guide for pro athletes to help keep themselves out of trouble:

  

Stay in Your Lane, but Keep Your Mouth Shut in the Process

Do what you do fam ... play with your ball, hang out with the groupies, etc. but keep your mouth shut in the process.  We don't want to know who you're dating or married to, and when your playing days are over and the groupies are on to the next baller, or you're age 40 with the physical condition of a 75 year old man, keep your mouth shut then too.  Don't run tell Oprah.

Entertain Us

You are merely an "entertainer", so kill the heightened sense of importance.  And when you feel the urge to veer out of your lane, resist it and entertain us some more.  To be more specific, go jungle some chainsaws, now that would be quite entertaining.

 

 

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